


your heart is glowing (and i'm crashing into you)

by silky-fsf (SilkyinaBottle)



Category: Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club
Genre: F/F, Femslash February 2017, Friends to Lovers, Investigations, Love Letters, Secret Admirer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 09:52:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9884579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilkyinaBottle/pseuds/silky-fsf
Summary: When Hana first finds the letter taped to her bedroom door, she’s not really sure what to think.





	

**Author's Note:**

> well, here it is. my final fic for femslash february.
> 
> i was originally going to write one fic for every day, but one fic for every two is still quite the accomplishment, i think. and what better way to end than a longer fic for my biggest fandom right now?? i don't think there is a better way.
> 
> title is from "xo" by beyonce

When she first finds the letter taped to her bedroom door, she’s not really sure what to think. She’s not really sure who still sends out letters anymore. Even for invitations, most of her friends (that is, the Normal Boots Club) relied on posting in the group chat. So she has no idea what to expect as she pulls it off the wooden surface and turns it over in her hands, but she tears it open anyways.

_Hana,_

_I consider you a truly beloved friend. We’ve bonded on a great level during the past few months, but I often find myself wishing for more. When we sit together during lunch, I’m constantly drawn to your smile, your laugh, the light in your eyes… I want to keep them there forever and treasure them always; to make sure you don’t hurt again. I sincerely hope these feelings reach your heart as they have reached mine._

_~ Your Secret Admirer_

She reads over the letter. Reads it again. Wonders if it’s a prank. Her heart says it is, but her mind…

 _“When we sit together during lunch…”_ If someone wants to play a joke on her, then they want her to believe this was written by another Normal Boots member. But in that case, there’s something they clearly didn’t know: this club would protect her to the death. If this really is a prank, all she has to do is ask around and rule out all the options. And if she does… well, whoever did this will probably crack under the pressure of the nine most popular boys in school all actively trying to hunt them down.

But if it’s _real_ … She shakes her head. No, now isn’t the time to be getting cold feet. She needs to face this mystery head on.

She pockets the letter and drags her feet in the direction of Bluebell house.

 

She asks Jared first. The flowery language seems the most like his speech, and even if it isn’t him, he’s sure to give her some sort of valuable information about who it _might_ be.

“It isn’t me, I can tell you that much,” he says, shaking his head slightly as his eyes run across the slightly worn page. After a moment of mulling, he sets it down on the desk in front of him, leaning down to rifle through one of the drawers to his left. After a moment, he produces a crumpled worksheet covered in broad, elegant cursive. Written at the top is the name _Jared Knabenbaur._ Well, she supposes that settles that. “I’m not familiar enough with anyone else’s handwriting to really judge,” he continues, setting the paper down and examining the love letter again, “other than Satch’s, but, well…” He chuckles as he pushes the worksheet back across the table. "You know. I don't really think you're his type." Hana presses the palm of her hand up against her mouth, stifling a smile herself. Right. So that ruled out two people.

“Is there anyone else you think I should talk to?” she asks, hoping for a firm answer. Instead, Jared presses his lips together and hums, leaning back in his seat to stare at the ceiling.

“I still think you should talk to Satch,” he says after a moment. “Even if it’s not him. Students are required to turn in notes with late books now, so he might recognize the handwriting.” He lets a fond smile spill onto his face. “And even if he doesn’t, he’s a genius. I’m sure he’ll be able to give you _some_ sort of clue.”

Hana nods, reaching over his body to retrieve the letter. “You’re right. Thanks, Jared.” She folds the letter back up and tucks it into her pocket, and is about to turn around and leave when—

“Oh, and Hana?”

She whirls around to face him. “Yes?”

There’s the slightest hint of a smirk on Jared’s face. “Ask PBG too.”

She blinks, waiting for an explanation. When none comes, she takes matters into her own hands. “Why?”

Jared shrugs. “Just intuition.”

 

“It seems a little sloppy to me,” Satch says, both of his elbows rested on the front counter as he narrows his eyes at the words on the paper.

Hana raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” The handwriting seemed relatively neat to her, perhaps not as neat as Satch’s (she'd seen it on a sticky note in his room when she'd spoken to Jared; it was made up of small, compact letters almost like he was conserving space), but certainly readable and almost… cutesy.

“I mean the writing style,” he says, turning the paper around so Hana can read it rightside up. “It’s like the person wanted to use all this romantic, elaborate language but they really only went halfway.”

Looking over the letter again, Hana finds he’s right. The structure was there, but the words weren’t. Surely there were better synonyms for “great” or “constantly”... something that fit more in line with what the author obviously wanted to convey. “I think it’s a prank,” she admits, but Satch shakes his head.

“I disagree. Even though the writing’s not all there, I’d say the writer of this has genuine feelings for you.” He picks up the paper gingerly and runs his fingers along the back of it. “There are pretty heavy indent marks on the back of the page, almost as if they were rushing to get all of their feelings out of paper.” He puts the letter back down and slides it towards her. “And if someone really wanted to play a joke on you, they’d likely put more effort into it than this.” He smiles at her. “Believe in yourself a little more, Hana. You deserve this.”

She takes the letter back in her hands and squints at it. “But I still don’t know who it’s from. What if I don’t like them the way they like me?”

Satch’s smile doesn’t waver, and Hana gets the sneaking suspicion he knows something she doesn’t. “Well, we’ll just find out, won’t we?”

 

She manages to catch PBG as he’s running off the soccer field. He looks over the letter for a  couple of moments, squinting his eyes, before he looks straight at her and says, “I’m... not really sure what you want me to say.”

“Jared said I should ask you,” she offers, and immediately PBG reddens.

“Oh, uh, ah, a-about that…,” he stammers, averting his eyes. “I guess I kinda _used_ to like you, f-for just a little bit, b-but—”

“You _liked_ me?” asks Hana, cutting him off in her incredulousness. For a second, she’s almost sure he’s joking. One of the most popular boys in school used to _like_ her? But then… he wasn’t the one who wrote the letter, was he?

PBG opens his mouth open and shut for a few moments, not unlike a fish on land. Finally, words seem to come to him. “I-I mean, at _first,_ but you see… I… I’m kind of—”

“PBG!” someone cries out, and PBG entire body stiffens. Hana leans to the side to see past him, and sees Jeff rushing towards the two of them like a freight train. She takes a startled step back just as he rams into PBG, wrapping his arms tightly around the taller boy’s waist and pulling him close. He gets up on his tiptoes, earning just enough leverage to be able to rest his chin on PBG’s shoulder. “Are you still up for getting ice cream? I wanna spend more time with you…”

PBG’s eyes dart between Hana and Jeff, his face steadily turning a shade of bright crimson. “U-uh…,” he mumbles, as if trying to notify Jeff of their company.

Jeff glances down at Hana, his eyes widening only marginally. “Oh. Hi, Hana.”

“Ah,” says Hana. “I see.” So it couldn’t be PBG, then. “Well, congratulations then. I’ll leave you two to that.”

PBG sends her a small smile. “Um, thanks. Good luck finding the secret admirer o-or whatever.”

“Secret admirer?” Jeff echoes, but Hana’s already well on her way.

 

She decides to go to Jirard next. She figures if it isn’t him, he could at least offer her some helpful advice. He always has _some_ sort of kind words to offer.

She regrets this decision when Shane opens their dorm room door. She’s about to stutter out some kind of greeting when he smiles slightly and opens the door for her to come in. “What do you need?” he asks, blunt with her as always.

“Um,” she starts as she steps in, “I need to talk to Jirard,” she smiles as she spots him sitting on his bed, trying to brush the knots out of an IBK’s hair with a small plastic comb that obviously came with the toy, “but I guess since you’re here I can ask both of you.” She pulls the letter out of her pocket, quickly unfolds it, and holds it out for Shane to take. “Someone put this on my door. I think it’s from a Normal Boots member.”

Shane reads it over with narrowed eyes and Jirard joins him, still holding the plastic kitty and comb. “This is really sweet!” Jirard says after a second, making color rush to Hana’s cheeks. “Whoever wrote it really seems to like you, Hana.”

“Neither of us wrote it,” is Shane’s first reaction, not surprising Hana in the slightest. “Who have you asked so far?”

“Jared, Satch, and PBG,” she says, counting the three of them off on her fingers. “I know it’s not them.”

Shane narrows his eyes. “Are you sure about PBG?”

She holds his gaze. “Very.”

Jirard makes a quiet humming noise in the back of his throat, but he stops short when his eyes travel back to the note. “What’s this?” He reaches out to touch the letter with a steady hand, and when he pulls it back he’s holding a strand of red hair between two fingers.

“Maybe it’s from Mai,” Hana suggests.

Shane shakes his head. “You said it was on your door, right? Unless she messed with it, there’s no reason she would have been touching it. What did it look like when you found it?”

“It was untouched,” says Hana quietly. Her breath is caught in her throat. “Can I have that back?” she asks, holding out her hand firmly. Shane wordlessly folds the paper back into a neat square and presses it into Hana’s palm.

She knows what she has to do.

 

“You’re joking, right?” Josh says when she shows him the letter. She had managed to find him by his locker, without the company of Paul or Nick for once, a feat that surprised even her. But she suspected him to admit to writing the letter, not look at her like she was stupid. “This isn’t mine,” he explains, gently shoving the letter back into her hands.

“But…,” she starts, looking desperately between the slightly crumpled letter and the exasperated look on Josh’s face, “if… if it’s not you…” Was it really just a prank then? Sure, Satch had said it was too sloppy to be anything but genuine, but maybe the person was just really bad at trying to trick her… Or maybe they were really _good_ , if they had convinced her for this long.

But Josh sighs, taking a step forward and placing a careful hand on her shoulder. “Hana. Look at me.” She does. There’s something very tired, but undeniably honest in the way he’s looking at her. “Am I the only redhead who sits at our lunch table?”

“No,” is Hana’s immediate answer, “there’s Mai too, but—”

“But what,” Josh interrupts, more of a forceful statement than a question. After a moment of watching Hana gape, he continues. “Give me one good reason it couldn’t be her.”

Hana searches for an answer. She doesn’t find one. She stares at her feet, trying very hard to process what she’s just been told. She screws her eyes shut tight for one, two, three seconds, and opens them again. She holds the letter a little tighter to her chest, trying to keep the words close to her heart as she looks back and Josh and utters a small, “Thank you.”

Josh smiles, and that’s all the response she needs. She turns on her heel and moves towards Primrose house as fast as her legs can carry her.

 

Mai is lounging in her bed when Hana bursts into the room. “Whoa, what’s up?” she asks, but Hana is already rummaging through the contents of the nearest desk drawer. Distantly, she hears Mai yelp, “Hey, what are you doing?” She doesn’t listen. Instead, she pulls out the first thing written by Mai she can find—a discarded draft of some friendfiction, it seems—and places it on the desk right next to the love letter.

It’s a perfect match. The big, curving letters, the large spaces between each word, even the way the admirer dots their “I”s… It’s all the same.

Mai likes her.

The sound of feet hitting the ground echoes behind her, but all Hana can do is stare at the evidence before her in complete and utter awe. Why her? She doesn’t think there’s anything particularly special about her, but maybe Mai sees something more. She has always seemed quite enamored with her, come to think of it: always telling her how adorable she is, trying her hardest to protect her, and taking any excuse to snuggle up to her. But even so, why like this? Why not just tell her directly? She can think of plenty of reasons Mai might want to keep it to herself, but that’s not what she did. It was just… it was so _unlike_ her to take the middle road. Mai was always full of extremities; when she did something, she always went all-out. So why not now?

“I was hoping you’d think it was from one of the guys.”

Hana pulls her eyes away from the desk at the sound of Mai’s voice. Her cheeks are bright red, her bottom lip is quivering, and her eyes are glassy, but she refuses to look away from Hana’s face. Hana swallows. “That’s what I thought at first. But then… I-I asked them, and I figured out it was you instead.”

Mai’s shoulders bunch up near her ears. “I thought you would be too shy to ask…”

“I.. I thought it was a prank, actually. I didn’t think anybody _could_ like me Mai, I…” She shuts her mouth, studying Mai’s face carefully a moment before opening it again. “I’m not mad.”

Mai’s eyebrows shoot up. “Y-you’re not?”

She shakes her head. “N-no, I’m n-not. A-actually, I-I think I…” She has to force the words out at this point, still the chattering of her teeth and the bubbling in her gut.

She’s not sure why she never considered it before. It should have been so obvious. But one thing is for certain: there’s no one she would be happier with than Mai. She’s much happier knowing she’s the secret admirer than she would have been with any of the Normal Boots boys. She’s sure of it.

“...I-I think I like you, too.”

In that moment, Mai’s face could have lit up a million Christmas trees. And as she giggles and whoops and takes the smaller girl into her arms, Hana can’t help but be glad that it’s all for her.


End file.
